JustLearn. Receive a compliment without turning it into an argument. You can acknowledge appreciation without becoming boastful, dismissing the speaker or denying the work behind the result. This edition uses synthetic narration.

Notice the reflex to cancel the compliment. Someone thanks you for organising an enjoyable evening. Before they finish, you explain that the food was late, the room was too warm and another person did most of the work. Those details may be true. They may also prevent the person from expressing what the evening meant to them.

A simple ‘Thank you; I am glad you enjoyed it’ does not claim perfection. It acknowledges their experience. You can recognise an imperfect event and still allow that another person found something valuable in it.

Share credit without erasing your contribution. If others helped, say so directly. ‘Thank you. Sam planned the menu and I organised the invitations; it was good to do it together.’ This gives the work a more accurate account without making appreciation impossible to deliver.

Watch for the difference between modesty and disappearance. You do not need to inflate your role, but neither must you insist that your time, judgment or care counted for nothing. Receiving appreciation can be an opportunity to describe collaboration rather than a contest over who is permitted to have contributed.

Keep appreciation separate from obligation. A compliment does not require you to agree to the next request. You can appreciate someone's kind words and still be unavailable to organise every future event. Equally, avoid using praise as a way of creating a debt in another person.

Try accepting the next ordinary compliment in one sentence before adding anything else. Notice how unfamiliar that feels, if it does. You do not need to convert the exercise into a new social performance. Its purpose is small: let a person offer appreciation, acknowledge it honestly, and leave both of you free to continue the conversation without arguing that something good could not possibly have happened.

A question to take with you. Can I accept what was appreciated without having to prove that I deserved it perfectly? First published by JustLearn. Read the original article at justlearn dot online.