WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.540
JustLearn. Receive a compliment without turning it into an argument. You can

00:00:05.540 --> 00:00:11.080
acknowledge appreciation without becoming boastful, dismissing the speaker or denying the work

00:00:11.080 --> 00:00:14.774
behind the result. This edition uses synthetic narration.

00:00:14.774 --> 00:00:19.155
Notice the reflex to cancel the compliment. Someone thanks you for organising

00:00:19.155 --> 00:00:23.536
an enjoyable evening. Before they finish, you explain that the food was

00:00:23.536 --> 00:00:27.918
late, the room was too warm and another person did most of

00:00:27.918 --> 00:00:32.299
the work. Those details may be true. They may also prevent the

00:00:32.299 --> 00:00:36.680
person from expressing what the evening meant to them. A simple ‘Thank

00:00:36.680 --> 00:00:41.061
you; I am glad you enjoyed it’ does not claim perfection. It

00:00:41.061 --> 00:00:45.443
acknowledges their experience. You can recognise an imperfect event and still allow

00:00:45.443 --> 00:00:48.363
that another person found something valuable in it.

00:00:48.363 --> 00:00:53.131
Share credit without erasing your contribution. If others helped, say so directly.

00:00:53.131 --> 00:00:57.899
‘Thank you. Sam planned the menu and I organised the invitations; it

00:00:57.899 --> 00:01:02.667
was good to do it together.’ This gives the work a more

00:01:02.667 --> 00:01:07.435
accurate account without making appreciation impossible to deliver. Watch for the difference

00:01:07.435 --> 00:01:12.203
between modesty and disappearance. You do not need to inflate your role,

00:01:12.203 --> 00:01:16.971
but neither must you insist that your time, judgment or care counted

00:01:16.971 --> 00:01:21.739
for nothing. Receiving appreciation can be an opportunity to describe collaboration rather

00:01:21.739 --> 00:01:25.712
than a contest over who is permitted to have contributed.

00:01:25.712 --> 00:01:30.500
Keep appreciation separate from obligation. A compliment does not require you to

00:01:30.500 --> 00:01:35.289
agree to the next request. You can appreciate someone's kind words and

00:01:35.289 --> 00:01:40.077
still be unavailable to organise every future event. Equally, avoid using praise

00:01:40.077 --> 00:01:44.866
as a way of creating a debt in another person. Try accepting

00:01:44.866 --> 00:01:49.654
the next ordinary compliment in one sentence before adding anything else. Notice

00:01:49.654 --> 00:01:54.442
how unfamiliar that feels, if it does. You do not need to

00:01:54.442 --> 00:01:59.231
convert the exercise into a new social performance. Its purpose is small:

00:01:59.231 --> 00:02:04.019
let a person offer appreciation, acknowledge it honestly, and leave both of

00:02:04.019 --> 00:02:08.808
you free to continue the conversation without arguing that something good could

00:02:08.808 --> 00:02:10.404
not possibly have happened.

00:02:10.404 --> 00:02:15.163
A question to take with you. Can I accept what was appreciated

00:02:15.163 --> 00:02:19.921
without having to prove that I deserved it perfectly? First published by

00:02:19.921 --> 00:02:23.490
JustLearn. Read the original article at justlearn dot online.